A Light in the Dark – Forgiveness and Apology in a Wounded World

Forgiveness and Apology in a Wounded World

‘Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.’    – Rumi

‘Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself. It’s saying, ‘You’re not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.’ It’s saying, ‘You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.’   – Jodi Picoult

Living in a Wounded World 

We live in an era of confusion, separation, and uncertainty. These dark times can fuel anger, and fear both globally and in our personal lives. As we witness upheaval and discord, we must ask ourselves: How will we, as responsible adults, rise to meet the trials of our times?  How can we source our own light in the dark?

Shining a Light in the Dark

To navigate turmoil, we must first turn to our life experiences and relationships that have hurt us. Only by addressing personal wounds can we see how they shape our collective interactions. Too often, we become trapped in the weight of memory and unfinished business, shrouded in the illusion of forgetting. The true challenge of adulthood is to tend to these wounds, so we don’t risk carrying a lifetime of unresolved pain, unspoken anger, and lingering regret—burdens that make it harder to resolve conflict or embrace the fullness of our relationships.

In the Death Lodge

In the School of Lost Borders’ Practice of Living and Dying, we invite people to explore end of life lessons and begin integrating them into their own lives. An important part of this work is the Death Lodge: a place where we may choose to go to heal old wounds, as if we were actually on our own death bed. One of life’s greatest acts of courage is to embrace this work now, while we have the time, rather than waiting until our final days. By doing so, we can bring light into our relationships and heal wounds before they harden further.

In the sacred space of a Death Lodge, we are guided by a modern hospice teaching, to speak the words that may mend our connections: “I forgive you – Please forgive me – Thank you – I love you – Goodbye”.  This practice—so valuable for completing a relationship with someone who is dying—may translate into wisdom that can help us keep current in our ongoing relationships. Through deep reflection we ask: “Where do we tend to get stuck in this cycle? When might we forgive too quickly or apologize too shallowly?” By engaging in this work, we may uncover powerful qualities: mercy, compassion, essential self-respect, and perhaps even the grace to forgive the seemingly unforgivable.

Our journey together 

We will gather for councils, teachings, nature walks and optional meditation, where we weave the wisdom of the modern hospice movement with the ancient, pan-cultural teachings of “the Four Shields,” the four directions of both the natural and the human world.  The 24-hour nature solo marks the height of our ceremony together. Throughout our journey, we will share insights and stories from our time in nature, using personal reflection to deepen our understanding while also learning from each other’s experiences. Through this redemptive work, we offer light in a wounded world, fostering forgiveness and apology.

Program Overview: This program invites us to meet the trials of our times with courage and honesty. In an era of upheaval and fear, we ask: How do we source our own light in the dark? To do so, we must tend to the personal wounds that shape our relationships and the world around us. Through the Death Lodge practice, we reflect on what remains unfinished in our lives. Guided by the wisdom of the modern hospice movement and the Four Shields, we gather in councils, teachings, nature walks, and a 24-hour solo, exploring the grace of forgiveness and apology.

Program Questions Contact: Bettina Straub at [email protected]