The Four Directions of a Queer Man: Forgiveness, Apology & Reconciliation


Jun 8th, 2024 - Jun 15th, 2024 | Inyo Mountains - Big Pine, California | Scott Eberle, Collin Brown, Paul Browde

Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimise humiliation & prejudice.  The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we’ve created to protect us.

—Alexander Leon

epigraph in Last Call, by Elon Green


Gathering in a natural setting – the high desert east of the Sierra Mountains – we will look to nature as our mirror, as we aim to learn more deeply what it means to be “a man” and to be “queer.”  Each of the four directions mirrors back something uniquely: call this “the four directions of a queer man.”  The south, where the sun is high in the sky, is the place of the child—or for this week, the queer child.  In the west, where the sun sets, is the darkness of adolescence: where a queer man must navigate their “coming out”—however many times, and during whatever stages of life.  In the north, the direction of night, is the place of the empowered queer adult who knows how to survive and thrive in dark times.  And in the east, with its daily inspiration of the sunrise, is the place of Queer Spirit.  We will explore each of these four directions – a day at a time – culminating in an overnight solo on the fourth full day, the day in the east.

Through the week, we will weave in the themes of wounding, forgiveness, apology, and reconciliation.  We recognize that growing up queer in a homophobic world may have left each of us with old wounds and complicated ongoing relationships – with family, community, and even chosen friends.  That has left many of us with lots of unfinished business.  

To do this healing work, we will draw upon an old hospice teaching.  To complete a relationship at the end of life, five things need be said: “Please forgive me”; “I forgive you”; “Thank you”; “I love you”; and “Goodbye.”  One of the great opportunities we all have is to do this work now – to keep our relationships current rather than waiting for our final days.   Otherwise, we risk being weighed down by a lifetime of woundings, angers, and regrets.

We are calling in a circle of “GBTQ men.”  Put another way: people who identify as “queer” and as a “man” – whatever those two words mean for you.  We aim to be inclusive. If you would like to attend but don’t identify as a queer man, please talk to us.

Program information:  Enrollment is limited to 10.  This program will be held in the Inyo/White Mountains east the Sierra Mountains and immediately east of Big Pine, CA.  We will start midday on the first day, a Saturday, and finish by noon of the last day.  We will be camping together the entire week, likely with a simple toilet set-up and no showers.  More detailed logistical information will be sent out a few months before the course begins. 

Program Questions Contact:  Scott Eberle at [email protected]

Of special note: We have raised scholarship money from previous participants for this particular program in an effort to make this year’s gathering more accessible to those with limited income. This program-specific fund can support participation for up to five men, contributing to the cost of their tuition, transportation, and food. We are especially interested in drawing younger people and/or BIPOC people. Please contact Scott at the email above for more info.


TUITION: $975 -$2,900

Sliding Scale: To honor the vast difference of financial resources among us, all of our program tuition is based on a sliding scale. We set forth no criteria and ask that you pay what is appropriate for your circumstances and access to financial resources. You can see recommendations on using the sliding scale here. If the low end of the sliding scale is still too much, scholarship assistance is available , please reach out to the office for more info.

Cancellations: Cancellations are hard on the participant, the School, and the guides. We respect the unpredictability of life, and we are diligent about running an organization sustainably.

-If you cancel 60 or more days prior to the start date of your program, you will receive a full refund of any tuition paid, minus any deposits.

-If you cancel 59 days or less prior to the start date of your program, and we can fill your spot, then you will receive a full refund of any tuition paid, minus any deposits.

-If we cannot fill your spot, and you cancel within 59 days of the start of your program, then we hold you accountable for paying the tuition at the lowest end of the sliding scale.

Submit enrollment form

 Please fill out and submit the enrollment form and then pay the program deposit below. Before you pay the deposit, please read deposit section below, all deposits are non-refundable and non-transferable. After your enrollment form is complete, please submit all health and liability forms.

Pay program deposit

Deposits: This deposit signifies your commitment to the program and is deducted from the tuition balance. All deposits are non-refundable and non-transferable. They cover the work of the specific course you signed up for, including all communication involved as well as the fee that guides pay to the school administration for the course accounting. 

Additional Deposit: Some programs require a second deposit to help us affirm commitments. Last minute cancellations make it hard to fill openings and incur a loss of income to the School and the guides.

Tuition Balance: Balance of tuition can be paid before or upon arrival. Simply deduct any deposits made from the amount you’ve chosen on the sliding scale.

Submit Waitlist form

This program is full; however, you may add your name to the Waitlist by clicking the Waitlist button below.

Additional course details & Materials


Meals: We will provide a dinner the first night, and a break-fast following a solo on the fourth day. The group may also decide to share communal dinners together – details for that to be sorted later. Otherwise, people will be self-sufficient for meals.

A note to people with limited wilderness experience: Though we will be camping out for the entire week, activities undertaken will be non-strenuous and our emphasis will always be “safety first.” We will provide a list of personal equipment that each participant should bring and we will also provide some group equipment for our base-camp. We may be able to loan limited personal equipment as needed and if we are unable, we can provide advice about what to purchase or rent.

ADDITIONAL FEES: $50 Camping Fee to be collected at or before the time of the program.

You will be responsible for bringing your own food and equipment, though we can provide some gear if needed. We ask everyone to come prepared to live self-sufficiently. You will need to bring shelter and clothing suitable for a full range of inclement weather. 

All participants must submit the required health questionnaire and liability form.

If you have questions about the enrollment process contact us at [email protected] or call 760-938-3333.

No required reading for this program.

We will gather in the eastern mountains of Payahuunadü (also known as the Inyo Mountains) east of Big Pine, California. These are the ancestral and contemporary lands of the Nüümü and Newe people.

To learn more about our commitment to regenerative relationships please visit Cultural Relations.